One of the favorite preoccupations of Jewish communal
leaders, it seems, is figuring out – and funding – innovative approaches to
engage various interest groups in Jewish life.
Whether it is reaching out to the Next Gen, to families of
young children, to teens, to Boomers or any other group, there has been a
panoply of creative solutions to the problem of disengagement utilizing books,
films, an Open Mike approach, a Shabbat format, new curricula, social action,
contests, a nationwide initiative.
The success of these offerings rests in their ability to
enable the formation of meaningful relationships. After more than a century of
serving Conservative synagogues, we at United Synagogue know that the soul of
successful programming hinges on its relational power. Indeed, in the wake of
our Centennial this past fall, we initiated a Big Read of Ron Wolfson’s seminal
work, Relational Judaism.
Utilizing the book’s teachings, we’ve created conferences
for synagogue leaders all over the country about how to create congregations
that focus on creating a deep sense of personal connection. And next month, we
will be offering a webinar with Rabbi Noah Farkas of Valley Beth Shalom in Encino, California, a pioneer in bringing a relational approach to his kehilla.
But why wait for our webinar? This upcoming week, the Jewish
calendar presents a powerhouse opportunity for multi-generational, relational
engagement in the form of the Passover Seder.
Of all the Jewish holidays, Passover is the most widely
observed. Across the denominational divide, Jews are more likely to attend
Seders than, say, Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur services. Additionally, people of
other faiths are more likely to be guests at a Passover Seder than any other
Jewish observance.
Herein rests the relational opportunity of a lifetime.
I hardly have to hawk the marvelous attributes of the Seder
or promote the virtues of the Haggadah, a brilliant guidebook to the creation
of living ritual. First-time visitors to Seders are usually struck by the
interactive quality of the Passover meal, the iconic questions, songs, history,
rituals, characters and commentary, the lively and sometimes argumentative
discourse that arises from fulfilling the commandment of envisioning ourselves
as the very generation that left Egypt.
The Haggadah distills all the elements of a blockbuster
novel or film (and in fact, it has spawned both). It has heroes and villains, a
tale of triumph against all odds. It has the revolt of nature, dangerous
animals and diseases. It has catchy
tunes. It has the Angel of Death.
Each year, I find myself marveling at another aspect of the
Seder and each year I am surprised anew by what engages my daughters, wife and
Seder guests.
This year, I find myself repeatedly pondering the fourth of
the Four Children – the One Who Does Not Know How to Ask.
It seems to me that contained within the character of this
“child,” and the Haggadah’s instructions for handling her, is a message for the
Jewish community at this very moment, a timely and relevant message for all who
are concerned with increasing Jewish engagement by building relationships of
meaning.
The Child Who Does Not Know How to Ask follows the Wise, the
Wicked and the Simple children. Her question is silence. The Haggadah instructs
us to respond to her silence with the words, “You open (the conversation) for
him, stating, “And thou shalt tell thy son in that day, saying: it is because
of that which the Lord did for me when I came forth out of Egypt" (Exodus
13:8).
Reams of commentary have been written about this intriguing
fourth child with various explanations for her silence and explanations of who
the “You” is. From a contemporary
diagnosis of a learning disability to a psychological assessment of apathy to
the silencing shame that comes from lack of Jewish literacy, the character of
the Child Who Doesn’t Know How to Ask resounds for us; indeed, it is a
Rorschach blot of a character, taking on numerous shapes and forms.
Having a silent person at one’s Seder is so inconceivable
that the Haggadah commands a response. The expected outcome is that by
personalizing the story of the Exodus from Egypt, heretofore blocked channels
of communication will be opened and the disengaged Seder guest will become a
full participant in the Passover kehilla.
As most Seders are often family get-togethers, the Seder
also creates a built-in ideal multi-generational community setting where teens
can hear the stories of senior citizens, where Shoah survivors can pass their
life learnings onto those who have only read about the Holocaust in history
books, where Boomers and Empty-Nesters and school children are equal
participants, where liberal and conservative points of view can be voiced with
an air of tolerance.
In Noam Zion and David Dishon’s groundbreaking Haggadah – A Different Night – filled with sidebar commentaries from around the world, a
resonant story accompanies the section on the Four Questions:
Isidor Rabi, the Nobel
laureate in physics, was once asked, "Why did you become a scientist,
rather than a doctor or lawyer or businessman, like the other immigrant kids in
your neighborhood? "My mother made me a scientist without ever
intending it. Every other Jewish mother in Brooklyn would ask her child after
school: "Nu, did you learn anything today?" But not my mother.
She always asked me a different question: "Izzy," she would
say, "Did you ask a good question today?" That difference -
asking good questions - made me become a scientist.
This Passover, may we harness the innate power of our
heritage, which mandates that we reach out to those who are isolated in their
silence. This year, may we tap into Judaism’s relational essence, building
bonds with our tradition and each other that bring multiple levels of meaning
to our lives.
Please write and share your Seder questions, stories and
shtick with us. What do you like to do around your table? What are your unique
traditions, how do you build a kehilla in your home? And how do you take the
power of the Passover Seder with you even when the special dishes are packed
away and the final piece of matza is consumed?
Send your comments to Andrea Glick, co-editor of CJ: Voices of Conservative/Masorti Judaism. Check out some of the answers that people have shared here.
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